From Personal to Professional: A Story of Supporting a Parent with Memory Loss

When Senior Director of Sales and Marketing Paige Meacham first noticed the signs of cognitive change in her mother, she began a journey familiar to many families; exploring options for a Memory Care community. “I expected to feel sadness and worry,” Paige shares. “But what surprised me most was the feeling of guilt. The emotional shift from daughter to caregiver was both a profound and painful transition for me.”  Paige recently reflected on that deep personal journey, one that transformed how she sees Memory Care through a family’s viewpoint and a professional one.

How did you know it was time to explore Memory Care communities?

It started with tiny changes in my mom, easy to brush off at first, until they became hard to ignore. It was about four years ago, in the middle of a bridge game, when she forgot her hand and quietly put down her cards, no longer sure how to play. From that moment, the changes unfolded more frequently. In the next six-to-twelve months that followed, she had more moments of forgetfulness, and thinking things through seemed harder than before. We arranged for home health care services to visit three days a week to support my dad and help him adjust to her changes. A year later she had a fall and was hospitalized. Her recovery required physical therapy, and the rehabilitation center told us that she could no longer return home without round-the-clock care. That reality was too much for my dad to manage alone – so we began searching for a Memory Care community.

What was it like to search for a Memory Care neighborhood for your mother?

For our family, it was a deeply emotional and overwhelming time. Visiting communities and navigating brochures quickly became overwhelming and complicated. Thankfully, a close friend, who specialized in senior care, stepped in to guide us. Her insight made an overwhelming process feel less complicated. For my dad, myself and four brothers, proximity mattered, but what mattered more was finding a place grounded in compassion, trust, and dignity. We needed to be close, not just physically, but emotionally, as the roles we held in her life began to change.

Were there any questions or concerns that guided your decision-making process at the time?

Our questions did not stop at care protocols. We wanted to know what it felt like to live there, how activities in the community would nurture her well-being, how is culture embraced among staff, residents, and families, and how staff and families stayed connected. Examples of our questions included: 

• Do staff understand how to communicate with someone living with dementia not just clinically, but with empathy and emotional awareness?
• Are staff empowered to form real connections, to understand each resident’s journey, and make their story part of their care?
• Can you share your staff-to-resident ratio across all shifts-day, evening, and overnight?
• Can you outline your communication cadence with families-both routine updates and urgent notifications? What is your protocol for emergency situations, and how is it shared with families?
• How are sensory and cognitive experiences integrated into care? We were looking for meaningful engagement like music, art, and sensory and tactile activities.

Now that your part of the senior living community, how does that experience shape how you engage with prospective residents and their families?

Promoting programs matters, but it is not the heart of what we do. The real work is listening deeply, creating space for questions, and showing up with sincerity, presence, and compassion. Barclay Friends has changed the way I see senior living. At its core, senior living is about more than amenities; it is about helping families move through one of life’s most emotional transitions with empathy, clarity, and a sense of peace.  Sharing my own experiences gives families something deeper than expertise; it offers empathy, connections, and the comfort of being understood. I believe speaking with families in ways that are clear, kind, and sincere. It is about creating trust and understanding. Sharing examples is important. A story about how a staff member calmed a resident down during sun-downing builds trust and offers reassurance. For me it always comes back to connection – engaging with families in sincere ways, expressing gratitude for considering Barclay Friends and offering hope for what is ahead.

Read more: Making Magic in Memory Care at Barclay Friends

Are there moments in your work when you see yourself as the family member sitting across from you?

Yes, every time, I recognize the mix of emotions-hope, fear, grief. There is no script for moments like these, only honesty, trust, and deep understanding.

Looking back, is there something you wish someone had told you—or helped you see—during your search?

In these moments, fear and uncertainty can feel all-consuming. What we needed most was guidance, reassurance and support that reminded us that we were not alone. We needed reminding that there was a clear path and solutions for my mom’s care even if it was still coming into view.

What role did community culture and values play in your decision-making process back then?

During our visits, we found ourselves drawn to communities that honored compassion, not just how they cared for residents, but in how they supported and connected with families. Sometimes, it is not just about the services offered, it is about families being heard, understood, and treated with respect every step of the way. In choosing long-term care for my mom, we were committed to honoring who she was; her heart, her mind, and the legacy of love she has given us.

How do you now help families focus on more than just practical features when evaluating a community?

I always encourage families to observe how staff engage with residents, how residents interact with each other and how staff interact with other staff. Those everyday moments speak volumes about culture and care. I use resident testimonials to help families get a glimpse of daily life at Barclay Friends. During tours, I highlight the small meaningful details: our gardens, resident-made artwork, birthday celebrations, and moments of staff recognition. These gestures reflect how we honor each person’s dignity, empathy, and individuality. No day is ever the same because no one is either!

What guidance would you offer to someone currently trying to find the right personal care setting for a parent or loved one?

Begin with your heart-your questions will come naturally. The right Memory Care community will not simply fulfill requirements; it will mirror your love, your hopes, and your values. Let emotion guide the journey toward the care your family member deserves.

How has your personal journey shaped your understanding of senior living?

Walking alongside my own family through the search for care gave me more insight-it gave me a roadmap to help others. For me, it was a path grounded in compassion and connection. My mom always taught me to lead with your heart, and that lesson stayed with me through every decision, every challenge both personally and professionally. She believed that when we face life with empathy and courage, the path ahead opens in ways we never could have imagined. That truth-hers and mine-is what led me to Barclay Friends.